monkey lookalike    

BeGolly BeGosh! I wonder if website vistors have noticed the uncanny resemblance between these two little scallywag monkeys? They are 'playing' with their mobile phones and 'pretending' to be 'power users' and 'pretending' to do 'really useful and important work' and are 'pretending' to be 'super clever'?  Perhaps they are related. I think we should be told.

At 08.47 on the 7th of July 2015 Heart Internet contacted me via their support ticket system.

"Hi Robin,

We have been contacted by a Rex Gibbons with regards to this domain and associated hosting package. They have requested to gain control over it, so that it may be hosted within another Heart account. Are there any reasons why this transfer should not be actioned? Please respond to this ticket with any pertinent information".

This is the smoking gun. Conclusive proof from Heart Internet that Mr Gibbons was attempting to steal this £38k website. (See Sections 2, 3 & 4 of the Fraud Act, 2006).

Mr Gibbons promised me, and this lovely project certainly deserved to have, a willing, capable, competent, reliable and trustworthy project partner. But, instead, what the project and I actually got was a dishonest, lying and thieving little scallywag monkey. 

Mr Gibbons deceived, tricked, duped and conned me into setting up this project, on his promise and assurance that he would be a willing, capable, competent, reliable and trustworthy project partner. This project is a substantial piece of work (£38K). But, what Mr Gibbons really hoped would happen, above all else, was that a really good pubs website, built by me, would, (again), enable him to pretend to his family, friends and others that he was a 'very great and clever fellow'. Mr Gibbons covets my work, and this lovely project. He is a website 'wannabe', deluded fantasist, charlatan, and fraud. What he most assuredly isn't, is God's gift to websites. (He has basic keyboard skills, minimal knowhow and very little understanding).

Fifteen years ago, and very much to to his credit, Mr Gibbons volunteered to 'try' to build a website for the North Sussex branch of CAMRA. His website effort, fell over.  It died.  As a kind and helpful soul, (and I anticipated that as a website novice, Mr Gibbons would soon have problems), I had emailed him to wish him well. I also offered him help and support if he encountered any problems.  Mr Gibbons quickly became a man with a major headache.

So, in good faith, I rolled up my sleeves to build a much better website, and then, Mr Gibbons could populate the space that I had given to him.  I even did 45% of the typing for him, to speed the project along.  A friend of Mr Gibbons chipped in with perhaps 10% of the work. Mr Gibbons called himself a 'Webmaster', but all he really showed that he could do was type.  He is not a web developer or programmer, and never, ever will be. But, from being deep in the mire, thanks to me, Mr Gibbons came up smelling of roses.

Mr Gibbons was feted and celebrated by CAMRA, as he and his friend took the plaudits and the credit for the transformational change of North Sussex CAMRA. They had gone from being one of the handful of branches in the UK without a branch website, to a branch that had, (arguably), one of the best branch websites. Mr Gibbons lapped up the adulation.

Then, Mr Gibbons, and his friend, the then branch Chairman, got way too big for their boots. The men that 'pretended' to be promoting and supporting pubs, actually had a major falling out with the three of the top pubs in North Sussex. A little matter of a 'demand' for CAMRA members to have a discount on beer, and pub food. By the way, unless you agree to this, your pubs stand no chance of being our branch 'Pub of the Year'? They were too silly to appreciate how this demand might be 'just a little bit divisive'?

These pubs were well organised. They sent minibus loads of their locals to hijack the branch CAMRA AGM, and Mr Gibbons, and his friend were booted off the committee. They had been sacked. They had taken very careful aim, and shot themselves in both feet. Mr Gibbons had the prescious pubs website taken away from him. (It was CAMRA's website, not his).

The loss of the pubs website has always wrankled with Mr Gibbons. So, for the best part of 15 years, Mr Gibbons has been a very angry man, with an axe to grind and a score to settle. With the benefit of hindsight, I now realise that Mr Gibbons had me lined me up as a possible means of payback and retribution. In early 2014 he asked me if I could think of a way to list 'All Sussex Pubs'. I said, "I'll have a think. Listing 186 pubs felt like trying to eat an elephant. I 'really' have no desire to eat a mammoth". I did nothing for 6 months, but then, three things came together to inform the pubs project. (I do enjoy an academic and technical challenge, so, in good faith, I did give serious consideration as to how this project might be delivered).

  • I was inspired by listening to a lecture give by the inspirational  Jimmy (James Wales). If he can dream of putting the sum of human knowledge online and make it available to the rest of us for free, then surely we can list a mere 1,100 Sussex Pubs.
  • Then I had to do a challenging job for Horsham District Council, I had to find a way to hoover up all of the content of an old HDC website and drop it all into a new website. A job that would ordinarily have taken weeks, even months, was achieved in a couple of hours. I had found a very special tool.
  • I built a clinical trials recruitment portal. I found a very sophisticated 'smart' forms package for caputuring sensitive patient information. Exactly the same forms could be used for listing drinks producers (e.g. breweries, and their beers).

I had what I needed to press ahead with this Pubs Project. From being distinctly lukewarm about Sussex pubs, suddenIy I was very excited by them.

Foolishly, Mr Gibbons seemed to think that the little knowledge that I gave him 15 years ago to do one specific website project, would be sufficient to see him through to project success today.  Mr Gibbons has no idea of how far things have progressed over the years. Mr Gibbons has never, (to my knowledge), done another 'real' website project since, so he is a man with much grass under his feet.

Mr Gibbons' website experience is of one failed website project, and a small, successful one, as he had me to train him and guide him. This no more makes him a 'Webmaster' than it makes him an astronaut, or a brain surgeon.  Mr Gibbons is not smart enough to realise the extent of his massive knowledge gap, or showed the slightest interest in addressing it. Social networking? "Stupid"!

This 'really' is a £38k website project, (requiring 1900 hours of work @ £20 / hour). Mr Gibbons challenged, encouraged and urged me to build it. Then, this ghastly, preposterous man has the audacity, temerity, and impudence to dare to pretend that my lovely work 'really' owes anything at all to him? (Only in his dreams)! 

When I told him that his contributions, as a (so called) 'project partner' were totally unacceptable, and I would not waste any more of my time trying to work with him, (I needed a 'real' and active project partner, and not a passive and 'pretend' project passenger). Mr Gibbons responded by locking me out of the website, and then he tried steal it. (No more than a minor inconvenience for me to resolve). Then, Mr Gibbons was project history.

I built everything, and I made a point of paying for everything, too.  I always had, (and was quite right to have), major reservations as to the  capability, competence and mental capacity of Mr Gibbons, to cope with this project.  However, there are 'young' 73 year olds, and I hoped for the best, and was prepared to give him a fair chance to impress me. (I gave him nine months, for which I deserve a medal for my patience).  Mr Gibbons was total nightmare, and he remains so.

For the nine months between November 2014, and July, 2015 I tried my utmost to work with Mr Gibbons, but his contribution was too little, too late, and of of a wholly unacceptable standard. This project was going nowhere, and all Mr Gibbons did manage to do, was to make me increasingly angry and frustrated. Mr Gibbons had quickly and completely exhausted all of my patience and good will. (The only goals that Mr Gibbons would achieve were not project goals, but own goals).

Here are a few performance metrics. A willing, capable and competent project partner should, comfortably, have been listing 100 pubs a month.  (The average 11 year old would have coped with what I needed Mr Gibbons to do). 100 pubs a month is achieved by strictly adhering to a carefully worked out Project Plan. The aim is to work no more than 4 / 5  hours a day, and no more than 5 days / week, so, 25 pubs a week.  Working together, and us listing 200 pubs a month, (this project should have been a 'walk in the park'), and would have been completed in just 51/2 months.

(Mr Gibbons, follow a project plan? Why bother to do structured, ordered, logical, sensible and professional, when you can do random, rubbish, incompetent, inept, and leave little 'digital deposits' all over the immaculate project carpet)?

Mr Gibbons was unable to list the Three Moles pub at Selham in six months, or the Dark Star Brewery in three months?. Mr Gibbons had not stepped up to the plate, in any way, shape or form. Mr Gibbons was beyond unreliable, and  untrustworthy. I could absolutley rely on him to be unreliable and untrustworthy. I became fed up with his lies, excuses, prevarication, and obfuscations that delayed and held back this project by many months. (His honesty and integrity had also become major issues).

Had Mr Gibbons been brilliant, average, or base line competent I would have told him that he was brilliant. Unfortunately, his performance was completely dire. (More was achieved by me, working alone in one month without Mr Gibbons, than had been achieved in 9 months with him).

I had to postpone, and then cancel a celebrity press launch with the lovely cookery writer and presenter Rosemary Shrager, and travel writer Richard Way, scheduled for Easter 2015, as by that time, the project was so far behind schedule.

richard way Rosemary shrager in patisserie

Whilst I have been working my socks off, to complete this project, (it is now 80% complete), Mr Gibbons, (and a couple of other scallywag monkeys), have been 'really' busy, snaking their way into Horsham pubs, to spread their poison, deceit and lies to try to convince people to believe that:

  • Mr Gibbons 'really' is God's gift to websites?
  • My innovation, insight, creativity, design and know how, is 'really' the work of Mr Gibbons? 
  • That Mr Gibbons 'really' has been hard done by me?
  • That 'really' I have stolen this website project from Mr Gibbons?
  • That a retired police officer and very experienced web developer 'really' has suddenly turned thief?
    (My last two websites were to make HDC area Dementia Friendly, and to build a Clinical Trials Recruitment Portal for the National Institute of Health Research - Mental Health - Biomedical Resech Centre at King's College, London)?

Scallywag monkeys? This does seem to be an overly polite and tame expression to describe what Mr Gibbons, and his scallywag monkey friends have been trying to do, to undermine and discredit this lovely project, and the reputation of someone who has devoted his entire working life to serving and protecting people?

It is suggested that the assertions of the 'scallywag monkey' Mr Gibbons, and his scallywag friends, are somewhat unlikely, improbable, implausible, and stretch all notions of reality, honesty, integrity, credability, and reason, by more than just a little.