monkey lookalike    

BeGolly BeGosh! I wonder if website visitors have noticed the uncanny resemblance between these two little scallywag monkeys? They are 'playing' with their mobile phones and 'pretending' to be 'power users' and 'pretending' to do 'really useful and important work' and are 'pretending' to be 'super clever'?  Perhaps they are related. I think we should be told.

At 08.47 on the 7th of July 2015 Heart Internet contacted me via their support ticket system.

"Hi Robin,

We have been contacted by a Rex Gibbons with regards to this domain and associated hosting package. They have requested to gain control over it, so that it may be hosted within another Heart account. Are there any reasons why this transfer should not be actioned? Please respond to this ticket with any pertinent information".

This is the smoking gun. Conclusive and unequivocal proof from Heart Internet that Mr Gibbons, (my 'really' reliable and trustworthy project partner), was attempting to steal this £38k website. (See Sections 2, 3 & 4 of the Fraud Act, 2006).

Mr Gibbons was unwilling, unable or incapable of doing his fair share of this project work, or contribute anything of value to it.  He has been like this since November 2015. I will not do my loveley work with anyone who has lost all my faith and confidence, and I cannot trust at all. I told him this. He responded angrily and inappropriately by trying to steal the project. He is as bad at trying to steal a website, as he was at trying to build one. He was caught, and he was sacked.

For the nine months between November 2014, and July, 2015 I tried my utmost to work with Mr Gibbons, but his contribution was too little, too late, and of a wholly unacceptable standard. This project was going nowhere, and all Mr Gibbons did manage to do, was to make me increasingly angry and frustrated, to the point that I wanted to do him physical harm. Mr Gibbons had quickly and completely exhausted all of my patience and good will. (The only goals that Mr Gibbons would achieve were not project goals, but own goals).

Had Mr Gibbons been brilliant, average, or base line competent I would have told him that he was brilliant. Unfortunately, his performance was completely dire. More was achieved by me, working alone in one month without Mr Gibbons, than had been achieved in 9 months with him).

Here are a few performance metrics. A willing, capable and competent project partner should, comfortably, have been listing 100 pubs a month.  (The average 11 year old would have coped with what I needed Mr Gibbons to do). 100 pubs a month is achieved by strictly adhering to a carefully worked out Project Plan. The aim is to work no more than 4 / 5  hours a day, and no more than 5 days / week, so, 25 pubs a week.  Working together, the pair of us would have been listing 200 pubs a month. This project should have been a 'walk in the park', and should have been completed in just 51/2 months).

Mr Gibbons, follow a project plan? Why bother to do structured, ordered, logical, sensible and professional, when you can do random, rubbish, woeful, pitiful, pathetic, incapable, incompetent and inept, and leave little 'digital deposits' all over the immaculate project carpet?

At 0847 on the 7th July, 2015, the COMPLETELY STUPID Mr Gibbons had, conveniently, put his backside in a sling, placed his balls between the jaws of a vice, and put his neck on the executioner's block.

Mr Gibbons promised me, and this lovely project certainly deserved to have, a willing, capable, competent, reliable and trustworthy project partner. But, instead, what the project and I actually got was an incompetent, dishonest, deceiving, lying, thieving and completely treacherous little scallywag monkey. 

Mr Gibbons deceived, tricked, duped and conned me into setting up this great project, on his promise and assurance that he would be a willing, capable, competent, reliable and trustworthy project partner. This project is a substantial piece of work (£38K 1,900 hours of 'nose to the grindstone' hard graft). Mr Gibbons failed to turn up to this party.

What Mr Gibbons really hoped would happen, ABOVE ALL ELSE was that a really good pubs website, built by me, would, (again), enable him to dip in and dip out of the project, and 'pretend' to his family, and his two really silly and gullible friends, and others, that he is 'really' a 'very great and clever fellow'. (The 'real' Mr Gibbons is no more of a web developer than he is a rocket scientist or brain surgeon.  He is a deludeded fantasist and website 'wannabe'). 

Whilst I have been working my socks off, to complete this project, (it is now 90% complete), Mr Gibbons, (and a couple of other scallywag monkeys), have been 'really' busy, snaking their way into Horsham pubs, to spread their poison, lies and deceit to try to convince people to believe that:

  • Mr Gibbons 'really' is God's gift to websites?
  • My innovation, insight, creativity, design and know how, is 'really' the work of Mr Gibbons?
  • That Mr Gibbons 'really' has been most unfairly and cruelly dealt with by me?
  • That 'really' I have stolen this website project from Mr Gibbons?
  • That a retired police officer and very experienced web developer 'really' has suddenly turned thief?
    (My last two websites were to make HDC area Dementia Friendly, and to build a Clinical Trials Recruitment Portal for the National Institute of Health Research - Mental Health - Biomedical Research Centre at King's College, London)?

Scallywag monkeys? This does seem to be an overly polite, lame and tame expression to describe what Mr Gibbons, and his scallywag monkey friends have been trying to do, to undermine and discredit this lovely project, and their best to ruin the reputation of someone who has devoted their entire working life to serving and protecting the good people of Sussex with the Sussex Police?

It is suggested that the assertions of the 'scallywag monkey' Mr Gibbons, and his scallywag friends, are somewhat unlikely, improbable, implausible, and stretch all notions of reality, honesty, integrity, credibility, and reason, by more than just a little. 

So many people have now told me that Mr Gibbons has approached them in a Horsham pub, to peddle the lie that I have stolen this project from Mr Gibbons? That I am a thoroughly bad person? That I am not to be trusted? That I am a thief? (Really)?

Mr Gibbons goes about his 'trolling' activities whilst adopting the posture, body language, expression, and rolling eyes of a beaten and abused Labrador dog. DO NOT BE FOOLED. Mr Gibbons is not at all the sweet, white haired, much put upon, down trodden, hard done by, and website disposessed man that he 'PRETENDS' to be. Mr Gibbons is a scallywag monkey and his one and only mission is to try and make a monkey out of you.  He does this in the hope that my experience of your pub will be an unpleasant one. Mr Gibbons 'really' is this dishonest, angry, vicious, vindictive and vengeful.

(Applying this bonkers 'scallywag monkey' logic, the late President J. F. Kennedy, and NASA 'really' stole Mr Gibbons' childhood ambition to go and walk on the Moon).

This matter has now been referred to Action Fraud, the National Fraud Reporting Office, and is under investigation. The time has come for the scallywag monkeys to face the music and be taught a lesson about openness, honesty and transparency.

I think it is high time that the good people, and publicans of Horsham were educated, informed, AND WARNED that the 'real' Mr Gibbons is nothing, but a 'scallywag monkey'.


  • Greg Charman, Manager Horsham District Council, Community Saftey Department, (for Pubwatch).
  • Sussex Police.

police badge (Retired)