three scallywag monkeys

Left to right: Mr Alan Bartram | Mr Bob Leiper | Mr Rex Gibbons

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Gentlemen, for your information....

I am ONLY working on this project, because Mr Gibbons urged, encouraged, persuaded and challenged me to set this up. It is a major (£38K) piece of work. Mr Gibbons asked me if it could be done, and I have managed to do it. 

To remain with this project, all Mr Gibbons had to do was:

  • Perform (to the level of an 11 year old)
  • Be sensible
  • Behave himself
  • Do exactly as he was told to do by a very experienced website developer

Mr Gibbons failed on every single front. He achieved this failure, over, and over, and over again, in a mere 24 days, 1st December 2014 to 24th December 2014.

Mr Gibbons tricked, deceived and duped me into building this major website project by pretending that he would be a willing capable, reliable and trustworthy project partner. Mr Gibbons was the EXACT OPPOSITE of what he promised to be. He was, (and is), a total nightmare.

Patiently, I 'poked up' with Mr Gibbons and his foolish nonsense and pretence for 7 months. I tried my hardest to work with Mr Gibbons. That is, until I became sick to death of his foolish delays, excuses, prevarication, obfuscation, dishonesty, deceit and barefaced lies.

For seven months, whilst I knocked my socks off, and Mr Gibbons did no work at all. All he DID manage to do was to annoy, irritate, frustrate, anger, and exasperate me. This to the point that I could happily have used his foolish head for a football. My desire to inflict really serious physical harm to Mr Gibbons has only grown stronger with time. So many murders have been committed for so much less than Mr Gibbons has done to me.

By the end of June, 2015 I'd become sick to death of the foolish and stupid Mr Gibbons.  I had to tell Mr Gibbons that his performance as a project partner had, for seven months, been woeful, pitiful, pathetic, incapable, incompetent, inept and was completely unacceptable. You cannot imagine how angry this made Mr Gibbons.

Mr Gibbons does not do positive and good, or websites. He is no more a webmaster than he is a brain surgeon. Instead, he 'really' does negative, angry, useless stupid, vicious and vindictive. He does this in spades. The red mist comes down, and he is a fool!

Mr Gibbons reacted predictably, that is foolishly and angrily by hatching a plan to try to steal this £38K  project, and MY WORK. I was expecting him to do this, and I was fully prepared for this when it happened. On 7th July, 2015, he put this plan into action. He took a series of steps to do this. Mr Gibbons was so confident that he had managed to get his hands on this project that he mocked me. Fool!

Mr Gibbons is as bad at trying to steal a website, as he is as bad at trying to build one. He was caught, and he was sacked again. Mr Gibbons was sacked from this project twice in three days. Fool!

Ever since then, Mr Gibbons has been 'really' busy, creeping his way in to Horsham pubs, to pretend to his very silly scallywag monkey friends, and anyone daft enough to pay him the slightest attention, that he has been unfairly, unreasonably and cruelly dealt with by me. And 'really' this website has been stolen by me from Mr Gibbons. (Mr Gibbons conducts his 'trolling' activities whilst adpoting the demeanour of a beaten and abused labrador dog). Fool!

Mr Gibbons 'really' wants people in Horsham to believe that:

  • A retired police officer who has devoted 30 years of exemplary service to the Sussex Police to keep people like him safe. Dick!
  • A respected web developer who has recently built a Clinical Trials Recruitment Portal for the Biomedical Research Centre at King's College. Fool!
  • Has recently made Horsham District 'Dementia Friendly'. Fool!

Has suddenly turned thief? Of course, this is nothing, but yet more of Mr Gibbons' lies, deceit and complete dishonesty. Mr Gibbons is a scallywag monkey, and his one and only mission is to make a monkey out of you. Fool!

  • Mr Gibbons tricked and deceived into building this £38K pubs website project. Fool!
  • Mr Gibbons asked me for help, and I provided my help in spades. (This project is now 95% complete. Sadly, my help went sailing way over his foolish head). Fool!
  • I have built this project.
  • I have paid for this project
  • I have spent 2,000 hours working on this project.
  • Mr Gibbons failed to show up for work. Fool!

I would NEVER have attempted such a challenging and sizeable project on my own without having a reliable and trustworthy project partner. That was what Mr Gibbons promised, but he did not deliver. Fool!

Mr Gibbons wanted me to build this project, SO BADLY, FOR ONE REASON, AND ONE REASON ONLY. He thought that a good pubs website project delivered by me would (again) enable him to pretend to his very silly scallywag monkey CAMRA friends that my work was 'really' his work, and that Mr Gibbons was 'really' (again), being a 'very great and clever fellow'. Fool!

'Scallywag Monkey' does seem an overly polite description of a man who 'really' is quite the most loathsome, dishonest, despicable, detestable, preposterous, deluded fantasist, website project wannabe, passenger, lead weight, freeloader, parasite, charlatan, fraud, inveterate liar and would be thief. By the way, I forgot to add 'arsewipe' and 'oxygen thief' and Fool!

Mr Gibbons and his very silly scallywag monkey friends should understand that Mr Gibbons owes his ability, (and his liberty), to walk into pubs and draw the breath he needs to peddle his odious, monsterous, contemptable and preposterous lies entirely to me. Fool!

We are talking of major fraud, deception and attempted theft (38K). Quite a piece of work is Mr Gibbons, my 'really' willing, capable, competent, reliable and TRUSTWORTHY project partner.  I can call 'time' on the assinine Mr Gibbons at any time I like. Fool!

monkey lookalike

Remember that ALL Mr Gibbons had to do to remain with this project was:

  • Perform to the level of an 11 year old
  • Be sensible
  • Behave himself
  • Do exactly as he was asked to do by a very experienced web developer

I had set up a state-of-the-art form to enable pubs to get themselves listed. I put this up on the website, and very quickly I had a number of pubs filling out the form asking for a listing.

The first pub was the Barley Mow at Selmeston, and then the Earl of March at Lavant. The forms worked beautifully. These pubs were listed on the website by the next day, and the applicants had been emailed with a link to their new pub listing.

I patted myself on the back, but then I admonished myself. I could have given the job of listing the pubs to Mr Gibbons, to give him practice and experience. So, when the lovely Three Moles at Selham asked to be listed, I forwarded it to Mr Gibbons for him to do.

The lovely Three Moles pub at Selham? This would have taken an hour to do. Mr Gibbons did not manage to do this in six months. (I was LIVID with Mr Gibbons for this. People taking the trouble to ask for their pub to be listed, should have their pub listing done in two working days, and they should be contacted. This is a basic service level agreement). Dick!

I also asked Mr Gibbons to do two REALLY IMPORTANT, but simple things for me. He was unwilling unable, or incapable of doing either of them. Dick!

In November, 2014 I asked Mr Gibbons for a list of Sussex media organisations and contacts, (for a press launch planned for Easter 2015). Mr Gibbons 'decided' he would not bother to do this. Dick!

richard way Rosemary shrager in patisserie

 

The celebrity press launch with travel writer Richard Way and tv chef and personality Rosemary Shrager was postponed, postponed again, then cancelled. Mr Gibbons had not managed to do this is five months? I was LIVID with Mr Gibbons. Dick!

I gave Mr Gibbons 'the honour' of listing the Dark Star Brewery and their beers. This would have taken a day to do.  Mr Gibbons could not manage to do this in three months. He did have a go at listing the brewery, but it was a pathetic and insulting offering. It was too little, too late, and of a wholly unacceptable standard. I had to do it myself. I was LIVID with Mr Gibbons. Dick!

I had the strong feeling that:

  • It was COMPLETELY pointless my asking Mr Gibbons to do anything, and the best way to get Mr Gibbons to do ANYTHING was to tell him not to do it it! I had the feeling that Mr Gibbons did NOT LIKE being asked to do things by me. Dick!

  • Mr Gibbons, as a fully paid up member of CAMRA, liked to think and pretend to himself, and, peversely, to his silly scallywag monkey friends, that HE was 'REALLY' in charge of this project? Dick!

  • Mr Gibbons believed that he could just 'dip in and dip out' of the project, and do whatever he wanted to do, whenever he felt the urge to flex and exercise his 'really' idle and foolish fingers and thumbs. (Mr Gibbons was using this website that I built as his digital litter tray, with me having to scrape up his digital 'deposits' from the immaculate project carpet). Dick!

Just where was the willing, capable, competent, reliable and trustworthy project partner that I was promised, when I needed him? He was nowhere in sight. Dick!

three scallywag monkeys

 

Lawks alive!

Mr Gibbons once told me, that I am the most unimpressive man he has ever met. I am 'really' sorry to be such a disappointment to him!

Since Mr Gibbons tried to steal this £38k website from me on 7th July, 2015, I have had the misfortune to bump into him at three Horsham pubs. The Sussex Oak at Warnham, The Star in Roffey (twice), and the Anchor Tap.

Curiously, on seeing me, his legs immediately turn to jelly, his knees knock together and he turns into a gibbering, jabbering idiot. He throws himself at the bar staff, and begs them for mercy and to save him. Is this 'really' the normal behaviour a willing, capable, competent, reliable and trustworthy project partner? No, it is not. It is the behaviour of someone who knows, full well, that he has been a very stupid and foolish man who has been caught, and deserves to have a damned good hiding.

I just can't understand why Mr Gibbons seems so reluctant to have the 'really' deep and meaningful conversation, that I would so dearly like to have with him.

I think we can now add now add 'extreme cowardice' to his long list of other outstanding qualities, which are:

'Scallywag Monkey' does seem an overly polite description of a man who 'really' is the most loathsome, despicable, detestable, preposterous, deluded fantasist, website project wannabe, passenger, lead weight, freeloader, parasite, charlatan, fraud, inveterate liar, would be thief, areswipe and oxygen thief.

IF the silly little Scallywag Monkeys, would like to do something 'really' useful to help Mr Gibbons, might I suggest that you buy him him a pair of rocket propelled running shoes?

electric rocket skates 640x533 1 

three scallywag monkeys

Left to Right: Mr Alan Bartram | Mr Bob Leiper | Mr Rex Gibbons

BeGolly, BeGosh! I would invite little scallywag monkeys, whoever they are, and wherever they are, to reflect upon, and consider the following information.

Had Mr Gibbons 'really' been a sensible, willing, capable competent, reliable and trustworthy  'project partner', he would:

  • Still be with this project
  • Be driving around in a 'Project Go-Kart' of his own
  • Be enjoying a very welcome, regular and substantial boost to his retirement income

project gokart


In good faith I agreed to help Mr Gibbons and I gave him the opportunity to work with a real web developer, on this lovely project that Mr Gibbons urged, encouraged and challenged me to build. (By the way, not only did I build and develop this project, I paid for it all, as well).

Unfortunately, Mr Gibbons was entirely unable to seize this opportunity, or rise to the challenge, step up to the plate or even be sensible.

Instead, all Mr Gibbons did manage to do was screw up. He screwed up over, and over again. He screwed up so many times, because he is completely useless, foolish and incomptetent. He has been of no assistance, or added any value or 'built' anything at all. All Mr Gibbons DID manage to contribute was problem after problem, after problem.

In a mere 24 days, 1st - 24th December, 2014 Mr Gibbons managed to:

  • Lose my friendship and respect
  • Exhaust all my patience and goodwill
  • Lose all confidence in his ability to perform even the most simple of tasks
  • Make me want to wring his scrawny neck

Oh yes! The serial incompetence of Mr Gibbons caused me to want to do him physical harm. No person I have ever tried to work with has ever been so able to irritate, annoy, anger, frustrate and exasperate me as much as Mr Gibbons. This feeling has never gone away.

Following his return from a long weekend in Berlin at the end of November, Mr Gibbons completely blew his chances of participating in this project. Out of the goodness of my heart I volunteered to go over to spend time with him.  He had been feeling unwell, and I felt sympathy for him.

  • The first thing that I did was to sort out his (personal) email problems. This took me 10 days of research. (A sensible and resourceful person would have found his own solution to this problem). 

  • The next time I visited Mr Gibbons I asked him if he had ever backed up his computer. He had not, so I did this 'disaster recovery' for him. This wasted another day of my time. 

  • Whilst working on his email, and backing up his computer, I had a lightbulb moment. Mr Gibbons had had the perfect small screen monitor that had been sitting for ages on his office floor. Mr Gibbons was a man who I judged would benefit from the efficiency gains afforded by installing a second monitor.

I explained my plan to Mr Gibbons, and he really enthused.  What could be better than having a second monitor on his desk? He could convince, and pretend, to the uninitiated that he was being super-clever?

But, instead of following my advice, Mr Gibbons bought another enormous monitor, to match his existing large screen.  Monitor No 2 was way too big to sit comfortably on his (very large) desk. Instead of being able to sit comfortably look directly at his main work screen, and glancing at the second monitor, away to the side, Mr Gibbons had his main monitor offset to the left of centre, and his second, huge, monitor offset to the right of centre.  When looking straight ahead he was looking at the edge of both screens. Instead of an effiency gain, Mr Gibbons had created an ergonomic nightmare.  Mr Gibbons had taken a really good idea, and then he 'Gibbonsed' it. Much worse was quickly to come.

Mr Gibbons' new monitor had a cable that was only just long enough to connect to the back of his computer.  Space under his desk was tight.  The result was that the new monitor was:

  • Difficult to connect and
  • The cable was under slight, but continuous tension. (A sensible person would have dashed out to buy a longer one).
  • Screws became loose and dropped down inside the computer tower
  • Neither monitor was showing anything

Mr Gibbons did not think to discuss this problem with me. Instead, he (foolishly) thought he could 'just' take off the tower case, retrieve and replace the screws, resecure the jack plate, and all would be fine? He had never even heard of an anti-static wrist strap, or had any idea as to the damage that his unearthed, (so statically and elecrically charged), Heath Robinson, DIY 'fiddling' could do to very sensitive computer components.

Mr Gibbons put the 'fixed'' computer back under his desk, and turned it on. 'Joy' the monitors again worked, but 'doom and gloom', as his computer was no longer able to connect wirelessly to the internet.

It was only then that Mr Gibbons decided to contact me about this problem that he had created. I volunteered to come over the next day to investigate and try to diagnose the fault.  I arrived armed with my iPhone, iPad, and laptop.  In five minutes I had all my devices connected to his wifi. There was nothing wrong with his wifi, or his wifi router.  I told him this. "Your computer has a fault. Your computer is (suddenly) unable to connect to the wifi.  You need to get this fixed.  It is not something that I can do. This is a job for Jason Harmer (Horsham Computers)".  I also warned Mr Gibbons that he needed to pull his finger out.  We were in the middle of December. If you do not get this sorted out quickly, it will not be fixed until the second half of January".

(On questioning, the story of the cable issue, the loose screws, the monitor issue, and the attempt of a DIY fix gradually emerged from Mr Gibbons).

What did Mr Gibbons do about the obvious fault, and my asessment of the wireless connectivity problem, do?  He 'decided' to completely ignore my advice and instructions on what to do to get the problem fixed.  Instead, without any reference to me he took, and 'dumped' his problem at the door of his ISP.  Mr Gibbons wasted his time, and their time. An hour and a half of it. 'Generously', they agreed to send Mr Gibbons a new, later model router. (It was worth it to them to get rid of the problematic and time wasting Mr Gibbons).

Mr Gibbons was feeling really pleased with himself . He expected me to be impressed by his negotiating skills. I saw him as nothing, but a timewaster, a fool, and a pain in the neck.  A few days later, the new router arrived.  This was setup. Surprise, surprise, everyone else in his house could connect to the new router and wifi, but not Mr Gibbons from his computer.  Then it was Christmas. Just as I predicted. He did not get this issue resolved until the latter half of January, when Jason Harmer came around to do a site visit and he fixed the connectivity problem. (More delay, prevarication, and obfuscation).

I had been wasting my time, 15 days of it, providing Mr Gibbons with not even enabling and empowering work, but more restorative, remedial and special measures support. I was fed up with holding his digital hand and wiping his digital backside. We had not been able to do any project work at all. I was deeply displeased with the ineptitude of Mr Gibbons.

Just how did Mr Gibbons, (my willing, capable competent, relaible and trustworthy 'project partner'), reward and repay me for all of my time, and help and support?

Mr Gibbons, (who has very little knowledge, and the most idle fingers and thumbs of anyone I know), 'just' decided that he would start listing the pubs in Crawley.  He was publishing rubbish, but this was not just rubbish, this was rubbish, on a BIG scale. This would have been unacceptable at any time, but he did this on the 21st, 22nd and 23rd December? This was highly embarrassing. It made the project, and the pair of us look really stupid. I telephoned Mr Gibbons to demand to know "What he thought he was playing at"? I 'demanded' that he took down his rubbish. He had to do this in 24 hours, or there would be consequences....

On the 24th December, Christmas Eve, I rang Mr Gibbons again, whilst I was sitting at my computer.  He lied that he had taken the offending pub listings down. That was a huge mistake. I was looking at them, still online. I took them down. This was the last thing that I wanted to be doing on Christmas Eve. Mr Gibbons was a man who was not only making digital deposits all over the immaculate project carpet. He was also dumping on my Christmas.  By 24th December, 2014 I would have been happy to wring his useless, stupid neck.

(Herein lies the problem with Mr Gibbons.  He just 'does', without applying any clear and sensible thought at all. As a consequence, he creates problem after problem, after problem. Mr Gibbons is a 'problem factory').

In December Mr Gibbons drove me on 9 short car journeys. He picked me up three times. I was doing him a favour, and this was in freezing conditions. For no good reason, he was always 10 to 15 minutes late. Being the considerate person that I am, I waited out in the road a distance from my house, to make his pick up and journey more straightforward? Mr Gibbons drove like an idiot. The first time Mr Gibbons picked me up he was really angry. He was driving like a man possessed. It really was a white knuckle ride. I was very concerned by the manner of his driving.

  • At  the first big roundabout we came up to, I stopped him from rear ending the car in front of us, and had to tell him to 'calm down, and behave'?
  • He was driving way too fast for the icy road conditions
  • Mr Gibbons would still be accelerating when all the cars in front of him were braking?
  • On another journey, Mr Gibbons was overtaken by a shiny new silver BMW. This manouvre casued Mr Gibbons no inconvenience whatsoever. But it surprised him, and he was annoyed. Mr Gibbons decided to tailgate the BMW and, repeatedly, flash his lights at it?

Mr Gibbons thinks that driving like this is acceptable and is going to impress me?
(Sad to say that Mr Gibbons is unable to drive his computer any more sensibly or impressively than he drives his car).

I asked Mr Gibbons to do three simple things for me. He was unwilling unable, or incapable of doing them.

  • Sussex media orgaisations and contacts, (for a press launch planned for Easter 2015). Mr Gibbons 'decided' he would not bother to do this.
    The celebrity press launch with Richard Way and Rosemary Shrager was postponed, posponed again, then cancelled.
  • To list the Dark Star Brewery and their beers. This would have taken a day to do.  Mr Gibbons could not manage to do this in three months.
  • The lovely Three Moles pub at Selham. This would have taken an hour to do. Mr Gibbons did not manage to do this is six months.
    (I was livid with Mr Gibbons about this. People taking the trouble to ask for their pub to be listed, should have their pub listing done in two working days. This is a basic service level agreement).

From March to June, 2015 I was fully occupied with building the Clinical Trials Recruitment Portal with Dr Sarah Markham. But, by June, I decided that Dr Markham was so brilliant that I did not have enough work to do, so I decided to focus on the Pubs Project again.  There was still a great deal of 'back end' development work that needed to be done. (This is way beyond the ability of Mr Gibbons to do).

When I looked at the front end of the website, I saw that Mr Gibbons had 'just' decided to exercise his stupid and idle fingers and thumbs again, by posting 'old' pub sign pictures where he had them.  A good idea, but, unfortunately, the execution was completely dire. Mr Gibbons should have consulted me and I would have told him how to do this properly, and professionally.  Mr Gibbons was again showing me that I could not rely on him or trust him, and he would make 'digital deposits' on the immaculate site carpet, if my attention was averted, even for one moment.

By July, 2015 I had come to the awful realision that:

  • Mr Gibbons was never, ever going be sensible, or wake up, wise up and get with the programme. (He had not been able to do anything since he came back from Berlin to even remotely impress me).

  • The ONLY way this project could be delivered was if I did it everything myself.
    (I had a crystal clear vision of how it could be, and should be done).

  • Mr Gibbons was a project liability and NOT an asset. (The help and support that Mr Gibbons could provide, this project and I needed like a hole in the head).

  • I told Mr Gibbons that he was not contributing anything to the project, (apart from problems), or performing as a project partner should. Mr Gibbons was more than happy for me to knock my socks and develop the project, but it had come to my attention that he was pretending to people that my work was 'really' his work. This was dishonest, and wholly unacceptable. I was no longer prepared to waste any more of my time on him, and I could do better, much, MUCH better by myself.  I would not work with someone who was quite impossible for me to work with, and had grown to loathe, despise and detest with a passion.

  • Mr Gibbons responded predictably, that is, foolishly, and in anger, (and with his usual lack of sense and sound judgement), by trying to steal this project.

    He had contacted Heart internet and asked if their support team could transfer the website to the website hosting account that he had just opened. They confirmed that they could.

    Then Mr Gibbons locked me out of the website. (I knew what he was trying to do. He really covets this project., and the website that I had built and paid for. He wanted it for himself.

    I telephoned him and demanded that he let me back in.  Mr Gibbons thought that he was home and dry. The foolish Mr Gibbons was so confident that he had control of the project that he laughed at me. He mocked me. Mr Gibbons was "Far too busy to bother with that"?

    It took me five minutes to regain access to the site. Then it was bye bye to Mr Gibbons. (Fortunately, Mr Gibbons is every bit as bad at stealing a website as he is at trying to build one). He was caught, and he was sacked. 
  • Now, the angry, foolish, ghastly and preposterous Mr Gibbons now goes from pub to pub in Horsham to pretend that 'really' it is me who has stolen 'his' project and 'his' work? 

  • In seven months, Mr Gibbons DID NO WORK AT ALL. (I presented Sussex pubs to a sensible person on a plate. Unfortunately, Mr Gibbons is anything, but sensible. Mr Gibbons is a fool.

I am fortunate in being able to pick and choose the work that interests and excites me. I choose to work with people that I like and respect.

Mr Gibbons that came back from Berlin has, sadly, NEVER been the sensible, willing, capable competent, reliable and trustworthy  'project partner', that this lovely project had hoped for, and deserved to have. Instead, the 'real' Mr Gibbons has been the COMPLETE AND EXACT OPPOSITE. 

I absolutely refuse to do my lovely work, with a man like Mr Gibbons, who, in just 24 days in December, 2014, and then from January to June in 2015, had only been able to show himself to be serially inept, extremely foolish, and as someone that I am entirely unable to rely on or trust.

three scallywag monkeys

Left to Right: Mr Alan Bartram | Mr Bob Leiper | Mr Rex Gibbons

BeGolly, BeGosh!

Over the years, each of these scallywag little monkeys have come to me for assistance in sorting out your email issues! I managed to resolve your problems. This does rather suggest that I am a kind, helpful and supportive soul, and am pretty good at what I do.

Now these scallywag monkeys 'really' want to believe and pretend that I am 'really' a bad person, and that I have stolen this website project from their friend, Mr Gibbons? This, for no better reason than this is what Mr Gibbons tells you I have done. Just where is your evidence?  You have none.

I am here to tell you that Mr Gibbons was welcome to remain with this project all the time that he could:

  • Perform to the level of an 11 year old
  • Be sensible
  • Behave
  • Do exactly as he was told by a very experienced web developer

You want to believe that a man who has devoted thirty years of his life to serving the public as a police officer who has a certificate to say that his service was exemplary, whose last two website projects were to:

  • Build a clinical trials recruitment portal for the National Institute of Health Research
  • Make Horsham District Council area Dementia Friendly 

Has suddenly turned thief? This is somewat unlikely, implausible, improbable, ridiculous, and completely fatuous.

Let me give you some evidence. Let me give you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing, but the truth.

The truth is that Mr Gibbons urged and encouraged to build this lovely project by his oft repeated promises, assurances and reassurances that he would be a willing, capable, competent, reliable and trustworthy project partner. I was fool enough to believe him. I was suckered in by his promises. Mr Gibbons succeeded in deceiving, tricking and duping me into setting up a major (£38k) website project.

Mr Gibbons wanted me to build this, because he had the hope and expectation that another good pubs website, built by me, would (again) enable him to pretend to his silly friends, that he was (again), a 'very great and clever fellow'.

(As a very postive person, I asked myself, what could possibly go wrong? As the part of the project I needed Mr Gibbons to do, would have been well within the compass of an average eleven year old).

Sadly, the Mr Gibbons who rocked up to this project proved to be the EXACT OPPOSITE of what he promised, and that this project and I deserved to have.

Mr Gibbons went way beyond being unreliable and untrustworthy. I soon found that I could rely on him to be unreliable, and trust him to be untrustworty.

Between December 2014, and June, 2015, I tried my utmost to work with Mr Gibbons. But, he was unwilling, unable or incapable of doing ANY 'real' work at all, or add anything of value to this project. All he did manage to do was cause, problem, after problem, after problem. Mr Gibbons quickly revealed himself to be a problem factory, of spectacularly efficient productivity.

Through December, 2014 I spent a lot of time with Mr Gibbons, working alongside him in his office. He is not a man who can even sit normally, or even comfortably at his computer. I gave him a number of straightforward things to do, (some little tests) Mr Gibbons managed to 'Gibbons' them all.

Through December, in support of Mr Gibbons, I spent 15 days of my time in order to sort out the email difficulties that he had with his personal email address @waitrose.com (The project email addresses that I set up for him all worked perfectly). This took me 10 days of online research into IMAP and POP3 email systems, and then MS Outlook Profiles). At the root cause of this problem was that the daft Mr Gibbons was silly enough to have BOTH IMAP and POP3 email systems in operation on a single email account?

On another day, I had shelved my plans for the day when Mr I asked Mr Gibbons if he had ever backed up his computer? He confided that he had not. That was another day wasted.

I suggested that he could grab himself an efficiency gain by adding a second computer monitor. (He had a monitor sitting on the floor of his office, and this would have been perfect). Mr Gibbons was so enthusiastic. With a second monitor he could (again) pretend to be 'really' a doubly great and clever fellow. Instead of following my advice, he bought another huge monitor that was way too big to be useful, or even fit comfortably alongside his existing monitor, not even on his (huge) desk. Instead of the efficiency gain, he gave himself an ergonomic nightmare.

Much worse was to come. The cable for the 2nd monitor was too short, and was in tension. Of course, a sensible person would have dashed to the shop to buy a longer one). This caused securing screws in the tower to come loose, and they down in the tower unit. Mr Gibbons was unable to connect his monitors.  A quck fix? Off came the tower case, Mr Gibbons found the screws and replaced them. Job done? No! The monitors worked again, but the computer was no longer able to connect wirelessly to the Mr Gibbons' wifi.

(Mr Gibbons has never heard of an antistatic wrist strap, or gave any thought to the damage his Heath Robinson, DIY repair might do to sensitive computer components).

Mr Gibbons contacted me. I went over the next morning to investigate the issue. I arrived with my laptop, iPad and iPhone. In a trice I had all devices connected to Mr Gibbons' wifi. Mr Gibbons confirmed that his daughters were also able to connect to the internet. I told him that it was his computer that had a fault. (Then the story of the monitor cables and issues emerged). I told Mr Gibbons that there was nothing wrong with his wifi, or his router. That he needed to have Jason Harmer (of Horsham Computers) to fix his computer. Further, as it was approaching the middle of December, unless he pulled his finger out, it would not be fixed until the the second half of January.

So, how did Mr Gibbons respond to my expert advice and diagnosis of his computer's inability to connect to the internet?

He decided to completely ignore it. One thing that I have learned about Mr Gibbons over the years I have known him that, instead of dealing with the problem expeditiously and efficiently himself, he will take his problem and lay it at the door of anyone else, that he can. In this case it was his poor, unfortunate ISP.

ICT suppport staff are by nature helpful and well trained. Mr Gibbons explained that his router was not working. (This was false). The ISP guy accepted at face value.  He went (Mr Gibbons said, and hour and a half, going through various problem solving proceedures.  At the end of this, the poor guy had probably lost the will to live, and he agreed to send him a new router.  (It was a small price to pay to get rid of the problematic Mr Gibbons and his problem from the phone).

A few days later the new router arrived, and it was setup.  Mr Gibbons' daughters could all connect wirelessly, but Mr Gibbons' computer STILL would not. What a surprise. My fears were realised. Mr Gibbons did not have the 'real' problem resolved (his computer), fixed until january was well advanced. Then the silly man thought that I would in any way be impressed by his 'negotiation skills', and being able to blag an unecessary new router from his ISP.  He had wasted more time - more prevarication, obfuscation and delay.


I had been at pains to warn Mr Gibbons:

  • That the little knowledge that I had give him, when I had given him a pubs website 12 years ago did not make him a webmaster.
  • That over 12 years website development had galloped along, and Mr Gibbons was a man who had very itchy and idle fingers and thumbs
  • This was a dangerous combination. Thinking that you can do something, and doing it properly and professionally were two very different things.
  • I strongly cautioned Mr Gibbons against, going rogue, off plan, off course, off mission, and off piste, and 'doing a Michael Schumacher' on me.
  • I had MUCH backend website development work to do, and I would not be happy, if, whilst my eye was taken off Mr Gibbons, if I suddenly discovered that he had engaged in extra curricular, unscripted, unwelcome, and foolish website activities.

    (
    My BIG FEAR was that Mr Gibbons would not be able to resist the temptation to do a Michael Schumacher, and that was exactly what the silly man did). Mr Gibbons was like a man who, playing golf, with me as his partner, who quite deliberately tees the ball up, and hits it just as hard as he can, in COMPLETELY THE WRONG DIRECTION, leaving me to play the second shot, from an impossible and stupid position.

Through December, 2014, depite all of my time spent with Mr Gibbons, we did no project wok at all. I would like to say that we did enabling and empowering work, but this was not. It was remedial and special measures work and I was quickly fed up with holding his digital hand and wiping his digital bottom.

Just how did Mr Gibbons showed his appreciation and gratitude for my devoting 15 days to him in December, (holding his digital hand, and wiping his digital backside? On 21st, 22nd, and 23rd December, he decided to go rogue, and do a Michael Schumacher by exercising his itchy and idle fingers and thumbs, (without any reference to me), and 'just try' to forge ahead with the listing Crawley pubs?

Mr Gibbons was publishing complete and utter rubbish. This was not a little problem. This was rubbish in profusion. (I had told Mr Gibbons, over and, over again, that it is better to publish one pub listing, and work with that to get it right, than to publish a profusion of inaccurate and incomplete pub listings. To publish wildly inaccurate records would undermine the validity and credability of the pubs project, and make the pair of us look stupid).

I was incandescant with rage when I saw what he was doing, just days after I warned him against doing a 'Michael Schumacher'.  This would have been plenty bad enough at any time of year, but for Mr Gibbons to dish this up to me at Christmas? (I was expecting to have a much more conventional Chrstmas 'turkey').

I rang Mr Gibbons to berate him and demand that he remove his 'tosh' immediately. I told him that he had 24 hours to do this, or otherwise there would be serious consequences. On 24th December, and 24 hours later, I looked at the website. The offending records were still live, and published. I rang him again, and, (foolishly, as is his want), he lied to me.Yes, he told me bare faced lies. He said that he had taken the records down. Had he, Hell? Mr Gibbons showed himself (again) to be a man who was completely impervious to any subtelty, nuance, and would ignore all my advice, guidance, and even the firmest of instructions.

Mr Gibbons had quite deliberately decided to ignore and refuse to do what I told him to do, because, he was a 'fully paid up member of the CAMRA scallywag monkey troup. He decided that he wanted to assert his authority over me, a 'mere' website developer.

Mr Gibbons had decided that he could dip in and dip out of this website project that I had built, and paid for, whenever he liked, and leave his digital deposits all over the immaculate project carpet, for me to have to clear up? He wanted to show that he was in charge? A total fool.

I took these rogue records down myself. This was absolutley the last thing that I wanted to do on Christmas Eve. Happy Christmas, Mr Pine, from your ever so, willing, capable, competent, reliable and trustworthy project partner? Mr Gibbons had showed himself to be a man who would 'creep' onto the project to dump his digital deposits all over the immaculate project carpet. Not only that, he was dumping on my Christmas. A fatal mistake!

This is NOT the behaviour of a willing, capable, competent, reliable and trustworthy project partner. Rather, it is behaviour of someone who does not listen, ignores instructions, is disrespectful, thoughtless, has no sense, no regard, and no empathy for his project partner who had spent 15 days supporting him through December, 2014? In other words, a fool.

For doing this to me, Mr Gibbons would have needed a miracle to come back to this project after behaving as he did. I did wait for 6 months, and prayed and waited for a miracle, so I gave Mr Gibbons more than a fair crack of the whip. However, the miracle that Mr Gibbons needed, and I prayed for simply did not happen.

three scallywag monkeys

In early 2015, Mr Gibbons told me, "I've discussed this with Alan (Bartram), and Bob (Leiper), and they both agree that we'd like to invite you out for a beer"?

I don't need much excuse to have a beer, but the way in which Mr Gibbons asked me was like I was being intvited to join the free masons, except, they are the beer Gestapo. I have never been asked out for a beer in quite such a pious, pompous, patronising, sanctimonious, sycophantic, unctuous, holier than thou kind of a way, before. I thought to myself. I've got to go along for a look.  

On the Wednesday afternoon we met at the Anchor Hotel, and had a pint, then we walked over to Piries Bar. The young and clearly inexperienced barmaid poured four pints, but Mr Leiper decided to refuse to accept his pint, as he had objected to the way that it had been poured. His pint was poured again.

I was stunned. I was appalled. I was embarrassed. I sat down with them. I quickly finished my pint, and left. (They had not said anything that remotely intereted me).

As I left I had a quiet word with the barmaid. I apologised for the appalling behaviour of the Beer Gestapo who were nothing to do with me.
A half hour in their company was all that I could stand.

A few weeks later the three scallywag monkeys came into the Malt Shovel. Horsham Battle of the Bands winner Jodie Munday was working on her own behind the bar. Mr Leiper again refused to accept his pint of beer.  I warned her to be very careful of the Beer Gestapo. I paid her £2 for the pint.

I am delighted to say that the scallywag monkeys no longer visit the Malt Shovel. These self appointed beer inspectors have decided boycott and ostracise themselves from the Malt Shovel, because they took umbrage to the fact that the landlord Sam Clayton and his team refured to serve them any more beer, because he knew that one of their number was driving.

These scallywag monkeys are not missed at all at the Malt Shovel.

three scallywag monkeys

BeGolly, BeGosh! I would invite little scallywag monkeys, whoever they are, and wherever they are, to reflect upon, and consider the following information.

Had Mr Gibbons 'really' been a sensible, willing, capable competent, reliable and trustworthy  'project partner', he would:

  • Still be with this project
  • Be driving around in a 'Project Go-Kart' of his own
  • Be enjoying a very welcome, regular and substantial boost to his retirement income

project gokart


I agreed to help Mr Gibbons and I gave him the opportunity to work with a real website expert on this lovely project that Mr Gibbons urged, encouraged and challenged me to build. (By the way, not only did I build this project, I paid for it all, as well)..

Unfortunately, Mr Gibbons was entirely unable to seize this opportunity, or rise to the challenge, and then he tried to steal this project. He could not even be sensible. Mr Gibbons has been a complete fool. I will not work with a fool.

CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

monkey lookalike    

BeGolly BeGosh! I wonder if website visitors have noticed the uncanny resemblance between these two little scallywag monkeys? They are 'playing' with their mobile phones and 'pretending' to be 'power users' and 'pretending' to do 'really useful and important work' and are 'pretending' to be 'super clever'?  Perhaps they are related. I think we should be told.

At 08.47 on the 7th of July 2015 Heart Internet contacted me via their support ticket system.

"Hi Robin,

We have been contacted by a Rex Gibbons with regards to this domain and associated hosting package. They have requested to gain control over it, so that it may be hosted within another Heart account. Are there any reasons why this transfer should not be actioned? Please respond to this ticket with any pertinent information".


This is the smoking gun. Conclusive and unequivocal proof from Heart Internet that Mr Gibbons, (my 'really' reliable and trustworthy project partner), was attempting to steal this £38k website. (See Sections 2, 3 & 4 of the Fraud Act, 2006).

three scallywag monkeys

Left to right: Mr Alan Bartram |  Mr Bob Leiper  | Mr Rex Gibbons

 

parsnip of disapproval

The Parsnip of Disapproval

If I see something that I strongly disapprove off, I present them with this..
It has ONLY ever been awarded 6 times

  • Three times to Donald Trump
  • Once to the Daily Mail
  • Once to the entire Australian Cricket Team (ball tampering)
  • And now to the three little scallwag monkeys, who really are thorougly deserving and worthy recipients of the parsnip of disapproval.

three scallywag monkeys

 

You scallywag monkeys!

You have no idea how much I 'really' miss having a 'really' willing, capable, competent, reliable and trustworthy project partner!

He would have had so much fun, and learnt so much, if only he could only:

  • Perform satisfactorily
  • Be sensible
  • Behave
  • Do exactly as he was told

It amazes me how these FAB people pay the slightest attention to what this sad, shambling Old Git from Horsham has to say about Sussex Pubs, and all manner of other things, but they do. They absolutley love it!

I put Sussex Pubs on a plate for Mr Gibbons! Unfortunately, Mr Gibbons let it all slip through his fingers, because he could not perform, be sensible, behave, do as he was told, or tell people the truth.

lorraine

 

tweet 1

 

tweet 2

 

DomM

 

jen bricker

three scallywag monkeys

Left to Right: Mr Alan Bartram | Mr Bob Leiper | Mr Rex Gibbons

BeGolly BeGosh! Here is a 'thought for the day' for 'scallywag monkeys'.
'Those that can do'.

I set up a personal Twitter account for Mr Gibbons, and for the pubs project. Twitter is 'stupid' declared my ever so willing, capable, competent, reliable and trustworthy project partner! The sad truth is that Mr Gibbons has not a thought in his head that he could articulate in 140 (280) characters. Here are some of the 975 'really' stupid Twitter users that follow the pubs project!

Rex Goldmith tweeted. "This Valentines Day, show your Valentine that you are serious, and buy them a fish".

I replied." Why just one fish? Give a fishy bouquet. A bunch of fish. A whole shoal. Send a little fishy to your little dishy".
That was it. He liked that, so did his regular customer Lorraine Pascale. She sent us a picture of this 'bonkers' pub. The famous Churchill Arms in Kensington....

churchill arms

 

dan salmassian Dan Salmassian - food reviews, London & Los Angeles. 

jodie kidd  Jodie Kidd - Half Moon Kirdford

 

Raymond Blanc Raymond Blanc - Chef Patron Le Manoir

 

giles thompson Former Exec Chef at the Ritz. Owns Earl Of March, Lavant

 

lorraine pascale Lorraine Pascale - cookery writer and tv presenter.

 

rex goldsmith Rex Goldsmith - the Chesea Fishmonger

 

zilli small Aldo Zilli Chef and Restauranteur

 

tom kerridge BBC Master Chef / Hand and Flowers, Marlow, Bucks 

Scallywag Monkeys - for your info....

Remember that all Mr Gibbons needed to do to remain with this project was:

  • Perform to the level of an 11 year old
  • Be sensible
  • Behave himself
  • Do exactly as he was told to do by a very experienced web developer

Mr Gibbons declared that Twitter is stupid!  No doubt, because that is the collective wisdom of the scallywag monkeys? I can well believe that you guys would struggle to say something witty, or pithy in 140 (now 280) characters.

One of my 976 Twitter followers is the FAB @_christina_dove from Emsworth. She is a semi professional cyclist. Christina works for an international consultancy firm who support her financially to go around the world to compete in events? She was out in East Africa, so then had to do the safari bit. Christina came back with lots of lovely big game pictures (still shots). The clever, talented girl was able to stitch them together, animate them, make them into a film, and apply a sound track? It was lovely! 

I think 'If you can do this with your big game pictures, then I can do similar for Sussex Pubs'! Problem! I did not know how to do it. But, Christina Dove pointed me in the right direction. She told me! Of course you just need a (spawn of Satan) iPhone or iPad, some still pictures, and away you go. I came up with this. A sensible, reliable, trustworthy project partner could have learnt so much, and had so much fun, and earnt a LOAD of money!

 

 

three scallywag monkeys

Left to Right: Mr Alan Bartram | Mr Bob Leiper | Mr Rex Gibbons

A couple of months ago I was driving through the back roads of Broadbridge Heath. I saw Mr Bob Leiper walking along very briskly. I knew he did not live in Broadbridge Heath, and I was concerned that he might have a problem. Possibly a car breakdown? Maybe he would benefit from a lift somewhere?
I wasn't in a rush, so I stopped, to check that he was alright.

Mr Leiper practically jumped out of his skin, and immediately looked very sheepish and defensive. His body language suggested that I might infect him with Ebola.

He declined my kind offer of a lift, and then became impudent and had the temerity and audacity to berate me for what he described as my 'terrible' treatment of Mr Gibbons? 'Really'?


The last time I was in the Anchor Tap, Mr Bartram was there.
He saw me, looked daggers at me and he looked like a man who was chewing on a wasp? 'Really'?

Do Messrs Bartram and Leiper think that their childish behaviour will be allowed to pass without comment?

Do Messrs Bartram and Leiper think that their somewhat childish behaviour will, on balance:

A. Benefit Mr Gibbons in any way at all?
B. Be neutral for Mr Gibbons?
C. Make things significantly worse for Mr Gibbons?

Mr Gibbons deceived, tricked and duped me into setting up this major (£38K) project by his oft repeated assurances that he would be a willing, capable, comptent, reliable and trustworthy project partner. Mr Gibbons was the exact opposite.

To remain with this project all Mr Gibbons had to do was:

  • Perform satisfactorily, (and do his fair share of the work).
    (An eleven year old child could cope with what I gave to Mr Gibbons to do).
  • Behave
  • Be sensible
  • Do exactly as he was told to do by a very experienced web developer

Mr Gibbons failed on all fronts, and he didn't even turn up to work. I have never tried to work with anyone who has made me quite as angry, because he is completely witless, clueless, useless, stupid and incompetent.

If sensible, Mr Gibbons had a great opportunity to work with a real web developer, would have had great fun, learned a great deal, and made some welcome money.

Unfortunately, Mr Gibbons repeatedly managed to screw up. He managed to 'Gibbons' everything. Mr Gibbons' contribution to this project is as great as his contribution to putting Man on the Moon!

Can I point out to scallywag monkeys that:

  • Mr Gibbons asked me if I could work out a way to do this project
    I could, I did, and I have.
  • Mr Gibbons asked me for help. I provided that help in spades. I am a very helpful guy. I have helped all three scallywag monkeys in the past.
  • I have acted in good faith
  • I have built and developed this project
  • I have paid for everything
  • I have done my half of this project, and I have done 45% of what Mr Gibbons promised he would do, but never did.
  • I have done WAY MORE than I agreed to do. I have had to.
  • Mr Gibbons has done NOTHING of what he promised he would do.

Patiently, for the seven months November, 2015 to June, 2015, I 'poked up' with Mr Gibbons and his foolish nonsense. That is until I could not stand any more of his incompetence, excuses, delays, broken promises, procratination, prevarication, obfuscation, deceit, dishonesty and lies.

I told Mr Gibbons that his performance over the seven month period (Dec, 14 - June, 15), had been woeful, pitiful, pathetic, incapable incompetent and inept. Help like his this project and I needed like a hole in the head. I could do much, MUCH better on my own, and I would be taking MY WORK with me.

I needed a real project partner (not a pretend project partner). Someone who would do their fair share of the work, and DO the work that they were given efficiently and effectively.

Mr Gibbons responded predictably, that is in foolishly and in anger, by hatching a plan to steal the project, which he put into effect on 7th July, 2015. This included locking me out of the website. (Mr Gibbons is as bad at trying to steal a website as he is at building one. I was expecting this at some point from Mr Gibbons, so when it happened, I was fully prepared).

At 08.47 on the 7th of July 2015 Heart Internet contacted me via their support ticket system.

"Hi Robin,

We have been contacted by a Rex Gibbons with regards to this domain and associated hosting package. They have requested to gain control over it, so that it may be hosted within another Heart account. Are there any reasons why this transfer should not be actioned? Please respond to this ticket with any pertinent information".

This NOT the behaviour of a willing, capable, comptetent and reliable and TRUSTWORTHY project partner. These are the criminal acts of a highly motivated, angry, vengeful man who covets this project so much, that he was desperate to get his hands on it. He SO wanted to make 'this' (£38K) project (exclusively) 'his' project. He also wanted to get even with me, and punish me, by depriving me of this project and to show me just how clever he really is. Then, with everything under his control he could continue with the pretence that my work is 'really' his work.

That was his plan. With me locked out of the website, Mr Gibbons thought he was home and dry.  Mr Gibbons was quite wrong. It was Mr Gibbons who found himself without website access. Mr Gibbons was sacked (again).  Fool!

Since 7th July, 2015,  Mr Gibbons creeps from pub to pub to try and pretend to anyone daft enough to pay him the slightest attention that he has been unfairly, unreasonably and cruelly dealt with by me, and that my work is 'really' his work, and that it is 'really' me that has stolen this project from Mr Gibbons. (He goes about his trolling activities whilst adopting the demeanour of a beaten and abused labrador dog).

Mr Gibbons 'really' wants the people of Horsham to believe that:

  • A retired police officer who has devoted 30 years of exemplary service to the Sussex Police to keep people like him safe. Fool!
  • A respected web developer who has recently built a Clinical Trials Recruitment Portal for the Biomedical Research Centre at King's College. Fool!
  • Has recently made Horsham District 'Dementia Friendly'. Fool!

Has suddenly turned thief? Of course, this is nothing, but yet more of Mr Gibbons' lies, deceit and complete dishonesty. Mr Gibbons is a scallywag monkey, and his one and only mission is to make a monkey out of you. Fool!

  • Mr Gibbons tricked and deceived into building this £38K pubs website project. Fool!
  • Mr Gibbons asked me for help, and I provided my help in spades. (This project is now 95% complete. Sadly, my help went sailing way over his foolish head). Fool!
  • I have built this project.
  • I have paid for this project
  • I have spent 2,000 hours working on this project.
  • Mr Gibbons failed to show up for work. Fool!

I would NEVER have attempted such a challenging and sizeable project on my own without having a reliable and trustworthy project partner. That was what Mr Gibbons promised, but he did not deliver. Fool!

'Scallywag Monkey' does seem an overly polite description of a man who 'really' is quite the most ghastly, loathsome, dishonest, despicable, detestable, preposterous, deluded fantasist, website project wannabe, passenger, lead weight, freeloader, parasite, charlatan, fraud, inveterate liar and would be thief. By the way, I forgot to add 'arsewipe',  'oxygen thief' and Fool!

Mr Gibbons and his very silly scallywag monkey friends should understand that Mr Gibbons enjoys his ability, (and his liberty), to walk into pubs and draw the breath he needs to peddle his odious, monsterous, contemptable and preposterous lies entirely to me. Fool!

We are talking of major fraud, deception and attempted theft (£38K). Quite a piece of work is Mr Gibbons, my 'really' willing, capable, competent, reliable and TRUSTWORTHY project partner.  I can call 'time' on the assinine Mr Gibbons at any time. Fool!

Scallywag Monkeys cannot begin to imagine what I would like to do to Mr Gibbons. Fool!

monkey lookalike

BeGolly, BeGosh! A while ago I was looking at my website control panel, when I noticed that the most looked at pub listing of the 970 pubs that I have listed, (with more than 52,000 hits), is 'really' the Star in Roffey?

Four of the most popular Sussex pubs are:

  • The Frog and Nightgown in Faygate (4,906 hits)
  • The Crown in Hastings (3,291 hits)
  • The Earl of March in Lavant (1,045 hits)
  • The Broadwater in Worthing (2,572 hits)

Then I asked myself if I knew of a 'really' useless, clueless, witless 'scallywag monkey' who lived within a short spit of the Star pub who would be foolish enough to try to pretend that he was 'really' a 'great and clever fellow' and 'really' doing useful work to promote the Star pub? Yes I did!

Every computer and mobile phone has an IP address that is logged by the website server!

More than 52,000 hits? That makes someone not merely a plonker, but a plonker on an industrial scale.